Is your bedroom a peaceful sanctuary or a cluttered disaster?
A client story…
We stand side by side in the doorway to her bedroom, looking at the clutter that has taken over the bed, floor, and all horizontal surfaces. She can’t even sleep in this room anymore. As she starts to tell her story, I feel her sadness and shame.
Using the See it. step, I ask my client how things got like this? What happened? Well, her life is a busy one. Between raising 4 girls, work that she loves, and many interests, there isn’t time for her own stuff. Her bedroom, like so many of my clients, became a dumping ground for homeless and undone items. It’s the one room in her home where she doesn’t have to hold it all together. It’s only now that her girls are grown and gone that she can take time for herself.
As we move into the Map it. step, she gets to share about her vision for this bedroom. She’s been dreaming about it for years and has gathered lots of pictures. She wants a sanctuary. What a joy to witness her and put the plan on paper.
Now she is excited and ready to dive into the stuff and make choices that support her vision. Following STACKS (Do It.) one step at a time makes going through all her things possible. We start with the floor, move onto the bed and side tables, and end with her dresser and closet, completely transforming the space into her dream room.
She looks at me with tears in her eyes and exclaims, “I did it!”
SEE IT – Take a look at where you’re at. Have each person answer the questions below for the whole bedroom (we will do the clothes closet later). When you are done, take time to share with each other.
What’s working? You can be specific or general.
What do you love about the look, feel and function?
Are there things you know you want to change?
What’s not working? What don’t you like?
Are there things in your bedroom that don’t belong there?
Are you doing things other than rest and intimacy in your bedroom?
MAP IT – Make a written plan for what you want. Go after what you really desire as this is the most important room in your home.
How do you want your bedroom to look, feel and function? Have FUN!
Create an online board of images that inspire you. Go for it!
Create a mind map showing all the elements you most want.
Is there a theme for your room such as beach house?
What colors and textures would make you happy?
What do you want to add to your bedroom, like a reading chair?
DO IT – Take the steps to make it happen. Look on your calendar and set up time for the transformation. Try playing music and make this joyful.
Choose which area you want to start with. We suggest starting small and building up from there. For example, you could do the bed and side tables, then go to the dresser and rest of the room.
Once you complete each area, take time to celebrate. Why not have a date night in your new bedroom! We promise you will sleep better and wake up happier.
This blog was written by Kate Fehr of the Clear & Simple family. It’s well worth a read as the summer flies by too quickly. Hope you enjoy it as much as I do. It also bring me to reflect on what has become my focus and to step back a little and slow down. We all get caught in the hustle and bustle of life and demands of work. A little reminder to slow down is always a good thing. So sit back, slow down a few minutes and read this lovely blog.
We could all use a little big dose of slow and simple.
I was sitting outside my son’s basketball practice reading and enjoying a new book. I overheard two parents reconnecting after being away for the summer. “How was your summer?” The woman asked politely. “It was great, but went by so fast! How was yours?” The man inquired. “Oh my gosh, so fast. I think it was the fastest summer ever and I was not ready for school to start.” She replied.
I sighed deeply in empathy for I have also experienced just how fast life goes by. On the other hand I also felt grateful for Our Simple Summer that rolled by at a sweet pace; something I know was very intentional on my part.
As I lamented over the “too fast” culture we live in, I continued to notice scenarios before me as parents zipped in and out of the parking lot, some dropping kids off and some picking kids up.
One mom talked aggressively on her phone as her son climbed in the car and they drove away. Been there.
A father was urging his son to hurry up and tie his shoes to get into practice. Been there.
Another woman pulled into a spot, tapped her fingers impatiently while watching the school door. After about 15 seconds she jumped out and ran into the school to retrieve her son. Been there too.
After many layers of simplifying our stuff, our time and our lives, my family’s approach looks very different than what I witnessed. We leave the house with more than enough time to get there. Our phones are put away so that we can be present with each other to talk, sing and laugh all the way. We arrive early giving us a bit more time to connect. As my son hops joyfully out of the car and saunters into the gym, I push the driver’s seat back, kick my feet out the window and dive into a book.
This particular day I was reading a fantastic book calledIn Praise of Slowness: Challenging the Cult of Speed and was on chapter 8, Work: The Benefits of Working Less Hard. Over the last 6 months my soul has been begging me to bring my work life into alignment with our minimalist energy. The combination of this book, a couple of months of summer sweetness and experiencing the fast-paced madness of my fellow humans, has created a great urgency in me to make this happen right away.
Barely making it through the day over-stressed, overly disconnected, under-nourished and under-inspired is certainly NOT the kind of life I want to live. How about you?
Do you have clutter in your space and chaos in your day? On the fun YouTube show That’s so true Lynn and her guest star Marla Dee give you straight forward advice on how to start organizing your home and life. Marla will help you know where to start and how to get it done. Learn about her simple system of STACKS. Marla has been an organizer for 20 years and she knows the pain. Watch the segment and get inspired to cut the clutter and live in a well organized space.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PI_-vRLlS8g
Marla & Lynn having FUN talking about clutter and organizing
If clutter clearing was easy, the clutter wouldn’t be there. If organizing was easy, the chaos wouldn’t be there. Since only 10% of the human population is born with the organizing gene, most of us need help learning HOW! After watching the video above, check out the page below for more depth on the STACKS system.
Did anyone ever tell you that organizing is a SKILL that only 10-12% of the human population on the planet earth is born with (see note below)? Most people assume that everyone should just know how. Parents expect their kids to know how to clean up their rooms. Bosses expect their employees to know how to organizing their office. Yet, 90% of the human population on the planet earth really struggle.
So believe me when I say… – If clutter clearing was easy, the piles wouldn’t be there. – And if organizing was easy, the chaos wouldn’t be here.
If you are part of the 10% then:
Walking into a room filled with clutter and chaos gets you excited
Your hands get itchy and you want to start touching and moving the stuff
You go into a trance or creative zone when you are doing the work
You are often helping other people with their disorganization and maybe you have even started an organizing business.
If you are NOT born with the innate skill then:
You struggle with where to start, what to do and how to keep it up
Even thinking about clutter clearing or organizing is draining
Your attempts to get organized have left you feeling helpless and hopeless
You have probably ready many books and tried many approaches only to give up
My story of how it all began… It was April of 1999 when I met my first organizing client. I was there to work on her home office. I was excited and also terrified. We had only spoken on the phone so I didn’t know what to expect and I felt clueless about how I would help her. I had many tools and lots of experience to draw from but I didn’t have a system to take us through the process.
Throughout my first year I witnessed over and over again that my clients were wired differently from me. They got confused and didn’t understand the steps. This is when the Clear & Simple Systems were born. I realized I needed a way to teach them the SKILL. And I wanted it to be fun and easy.
Coming up, I will be sharing SEE IT. MAP IT. DO IT. and STACKS. These systems teach the SKILL. These simple steps are what make organizing easier. If you want more information now, go to www.clearsimple.com/systems
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0WsdRs6WoT0
NOTE: In the last 20 years, I have consulted with hundreds of clients and audiences. According to my research only 10-12% of the human population is born with the organizing gene, with the innate skill. The other 90% really struggle.
Your Guide, Marla Dee – teaching the Clear & Simple Way to live free of clutter and get organized at last
Try working together rather than battling each other!
I am often called a marriage therapist by the couples I work with. I am in their home, I see the clutter and chaos, I hear the overwhelm and frustration. It can feel hopeless to create a home that is peaceful and inviting. Use these practical tips to help make organizing easier and get closer as a couple. Your partnership is the most important relationship in your life.
TIP 1: Let the bedroom be all about rest, intimacy and connection.
Remove all clutter, laundry, paper piles or projects.
After clearing the bedside tables, place items like candles, books or music that help you relax and enjoy each other.
Choose the furniture and items that you both love.
Keep the TV out of the bedroom.
TIP 2: Just like a weekly date night, schedule a weekly planning session together. Make this time meaningful and fun!
Choose a comfortable place, in or out of your home, where you enjoy being with each other.
Share your wins and disappointments from the week before. Genuine attention is the most precious gift you can give each other.
Have a shared calendar to track all the needed activities on.Look at the week ahead and share with each other what is happening and what kind of support you need. You can also handle meal planning and budgets during this time. Then it won’t be hanging over you.
TIP 3: Honor each other’s organizing styles. Each of you gets your “own space” to keep the way you want.
We tend to be attracted to and partner with our opposites. Each person needs their own space, their own hobbies and their own time to do their stuff. This will relieve stress and make time together more meaningful.
TIP 4: Share the load and/or delegate the keep it up tasks.
Our days are full of the keep it up tasks – cleaning, fixing, errands, calls, etc. Yet, we have really full lives and there just isn’t time to do everything. So, choose what maintenance things each person enjoys doing (you might love doing laundry or yard work). Then hire out the tasks that neither of you has the time, energy or skill set to do. Examples of this would be to pay a housecleaner, professional organizer, yard keeper or meal manager.
I invite you to sit down this week with your partner and choose your time of the week for Tip 2. Make this fun and get to know each other in a whole new way. Please share your success with me at info@clearsimple.com or
