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Simplify Yourself

Get realistic and honest about how you wholeheartedly desire to live your life.


“The purpose of life is to live it, to taste experience to the utmost,

to reach out eagerly and without fear for newer and richer experience.”

Eleanor Roosevelt

Despite our modern world belief systems, we simply do not have enough time and energy to do all the things. Simplifying yourself and your life opens up space so you can a deep look at yourself and what you most want to do with your precious life. A great place to start is looking at your fantasy selves. A popular phrase coined by minimalist, author, and blogger Francine Jay, fantasy selves represent all the versions of ourselves that we think we want to to be. For most of my life and into my mid-thirties I thought I wanted to do it all, and I kept convincing myself I could do it all. I could work full time; be a mama, partner, friend, sister, daughter, student of life; organize myself, my son, my life, and my home; travel; spend time with loved ones; practice self-care; practice yoga; camp; hike; bike; read; take workshops; learn to cook; do laundry and clean my home, just to name a few.

Sometime in 2017-ish, while reading Francine’s post, Declutter Your Fantasy Self, I felt immediate resonance and relief. Oh, hell’s bells… I thought. Of course! How incredible would it feel to let go of all those fantasy versions of myself?! {deep breath} As I wrote a list of my unrealized selves, and all the clutter in tow, I was able to feel how much of my life force had been blocked by things that did not provide value or meaning in my life. I became willing to release them and make room for what was really true for me. As I said goodbye to these fantasy selves and the clutter connected to them, I opened up to a new way of living and being.

All too often, we hold on to stuff because it represents who we think we should be, rather than who we are. Sometimes our fantasy selves are meant to impress others; sometimes they’re relics of our past; sometimes they’re fantasies about our future. Whatever the case, it’s important to remember: acquiring stuff for your fantasy self doesn’t make it a reality. Most of the time, it only leads to a lot of nice clutter you never actually use. – Francine Jay

What fantasy selves are you holding onto that don’t match your current life? What material stuff is crowding your space, external and internal? I invite you to write a list of your own fantasy selves and all of the stuff connected to them.

Examples of fantasy selves and their potential clutter…

  • Outdoors fanatic – bicycling, hiking, camping, and ski gear; beach gear and toys, yard toys, and hammocks.
  • Crafty Betty – sewing machine, notions, lots of material; paper, paints, scissors; knitting needles and yarn.
  • Book Worm – a library full of books you have read, books you hope to read, and books from schooling.
  • Music Lover – shelves of CD’s or records, technology old and new, and instruments you might play someday.
  • Photographer – cameras, tripods, cords of every shape and size, boxes of photos, and digital photos galore.
  • World Traveler – Suitcases and travel accessories in all different types and sizes, maps, and books on travel.
  • Chef extraordinaire – pots, pans, mixing bowls, cooking utensils, and ingredients a plenty.
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Wouldn’t it feel great to get clarity about how you most desire to live your life, to make conscious choices about how you spend your days, and cultivate a life that brings you joy and deep satisfaction?!

Your Guide to a Simpler Life, Kate Fehr

A passionate teacher of The Clear & Simple Way© to transform your life.

Clear & Simple, SEE IT. MAP IT. DO IT., Simplify Your Life

Deepen the transformation with our Simplify Your Life eBook.

The Simple Life… ha! We get the absurdity of even uttering those words. With all of the roles, responsibilities, relationships, children, 4-legged children, tasks, events, emails, papers, belongings, needs, wants, and more, life is anything but simple. It is complex, multi-faceted, and ever-changing. So, is a simpler life even possible? Is there really hope? Yes, you can craft a different kind of life. Enjoy reading about simplifying change, choices, play, sharing, growth, and more.

By simplifying, you will be more present and available for what life puts in front of you. You will enjoy the small things. And you will live with grace and gratitude.

Welcome to Simplify Your Life. This eBook will set you at ease, inspire you to play, awaken your senses and open you to new ways of being. No matter how big, complicated or busy your life is, it can be simpler. Are you ready to love the life you already have?

Simply Sit

A simple practice for anyone, anytime, is to sit. Just sit. Just breathe. Just be.

In an age of constant movement,

nothing is more important than sitting still.

Pico Iyer

A simple practice for anyone, anytime, is to sit. Just sit. Just breathe. Just be. How long has it been since you did this? I’m not talking about meditating or any activity that requires focus. I am asking you to sit still and simply be with yourself and the world around you. There are times all throughout your day to do this. It only requires giving yourself permission.

I keep noticing my resistance to sitting still. My comfort zone is being busy. When I think about just sitting my brain goes to what can I do? Crazy right?! I recently read a wonderful book, The Sacred Enneagram, by Christopher L. Heuertz. Christopher shares a practice called engaging solitude, where he suggests taking 20 minutes a day to sit quietly with myself. I have been doing this for months now and it is blissful. I hadn’t realized how pressured I always felt to be doing something. I now give myself permission to do nothing.

It can fun to discover your favorite place or time for sitting still. Personally, I love my morning sit with my cup of strong, black coffee. The world is quiet, my body barely awake, and I get to sit. There is no doing involved, simply breathing and being in my body in the moment. I am always delighted, and often surprised, at what pops up to be noticed. I also love to end my day with sitting outside staring at the night sky.

Sweet ideas for sitting still.

  • Begin or end the day with sitting on your porch. Hang out with yourself.
  • Take five minutes to sit at your desk at the beginning or end of the work day.
  • Take five minutes to sit in your car after the work day before you head home.
  • Go sit in the grass or lean on a tree.  Let your body touch the earth.
  • Sit at the edge of a river, a stream or the ocean. Feel the water.
  • Sit in the sun or the rain or the moonlight.
  • Sit in your favorite bookstore or coffee shop.
  • Plop in your  comfiest chair, without the TV on or a book in your hand.
  • Sit in front of a fire, either in your home or in the forest.  Let yourself get lost.
  • Sit next to your child or loved one and simply breathe each other in.

Let yourself simply sit right now, wherever you are. Give yourself 5 minutes. You might be surprised. You might feel something new or let go of something old. Try this simple practice.  I hope you will get hooked and make it part of your everyday life.

Your Guide to a Simpler Life, Marla Dee

We love teaching the Clear & Simple Way© to live free of clutter and get organized at last.

Clear & Simple, SEE IT. MAP IT. DO IT., Simplify Your Life

Deepen the transformation with our Simplify Your Life eBook.

The Simple Life… ha! We get the absurdity of even uttering those words. With all of the roles, responsibilities, relationships, children, 4-legged children, tasks, events, emails, papers, belongings, needs, wants, and more, life is anything but simple. It is complex, multi-faceted, and ever-changing. So, is a simpler life even possible? Is there really hope? Yes, you can craft a different kind of life. Enjoy reading about simplifying change, choices, play, sharing, growth, and more.

By simplifying, you will be more present and available for what life puts in front of you. You will enjoy the small things. And you will live with grace and gratitude.

Welcome to Simplify Your Life. This eBook will set you at ease, inspire you to play, awaken your senses and open you to new ways of being. No matter how big, complicated or busy your life is, it can be simpler. Are you ready to love the life you already have?

Simply Play

I learned how to play from my daughter.

Play is the spark that keeps our fire burning!

Marla Dee

My daughter Jessica is in her late 20’s. All her life, she has taught me how to play. I tend to forget that play is a part of life. I forget that play happens every day. I forget that play nurtures me. I forget how to just have fun. I was taught when you get all the work done, then you can play. The dilemma here is that the work is never done. So, I’ve adopted my daughter’s approach of bringing in play at every opportunity.  At this moment, I am in my comfy clothes, curled up on the couch, surrounded by pillows, coffee cup beside me, laptop in my lap, writing. Life does not get sweeter than this. I am having fun. I have come a long way. I have learned from a master.

Simple play ideas that my daughter has taught me:

  • Play with a kitten or puppy. If you are really brave, bring one home with you.
  • Go to the park and let loose in the playground. Get on a swing.
  • Color or draw. Why not splurge on a new pack of crayons or colored pencils.
  • Climb a tree. Collect rocks. Dig in the dirt.
  • Pack a yummy picnic and eat in your yard or on your porch.
  • Put on music and dance in your living room. Really let loose.
  • Have a slumber party followed by breakfast in bed.
  • Read a story then let yourself get lost in it. Isn’t it amazing how hours go by?
  • Play hooky for one hour during your work week. Be daring.
  • Cook with your fingers. Eat with your fingers. Yep, get messy.
  • Let a song or a story come out of you. Go ahead, do it right now.
  • Watch a movie you’ve seen before and act it out.
  • Or you can play at being different animals or characters.
  • Wrestle around on your living room floor – hug, tickle, laugh, let go and just love.

Lastly, invite a playmate into your life. I did, unexpectedly. Back in the fall of 1994, I was meditating outside on a beautiful, warm day. All of a sudden, I heard a little voice inside me say Hi, Mom! I looked down at my still flat stomach and asked, am I pregnant? Yes, she replied, so simply & sweetly. Why now, I asked, for I had been waiting for her to come for years and had given up. I will never forget her response, because you are ready for joy in your life. To this day, the memory of that moment grabs me in the gut. She came to remind that life is about joy, about play, about creating. She awakened my long lost child. She brought me back to life.

So, I insist that you play today! Be spontaneous. Start simple, start small or go for it and take a whole day. Just do it. This is not about planning, it’s about being. Play is the spark that keeps our fire burning.

Your Guide to a Simpler Life, Marla Dee

We love teaching the Clear & Simple Way© to live free of clutter and get organized at last.

Clear & Simple, SEE IT. MAP IT. DO IT., Simplify Your Life

Deepen the transformation with our Simplify Your Life eBook.

The Simple Life… ha! We get the absurdity of even uttering those words. With all of the roles, responsibilities, relationships, children, 4-legged children, tasks, events, emails, papers, belongings, needs, wants, and more, life is anything but simple. It is complex, multi-faceted, and ever-changing. So, is a simpler life even possible? Is there really hope? Yes, you can craft a different kind of life. Enjoy reading about simplifying change, choices, play, sharing, growth, and more.

By simplifying, you will be more present and available for what life puts in front of you. You will enjoy the small things. And you will live with grace and gratitude.

Welcome to Simplify Your Life. This eBook will set you at ease, inspire you to play, awaken your senses and open you to new ways of being. No matter how big, complicated or busy your life is, it can be simpler. Are you ready to love the life you already have?